An Interesting Hell or A Boring Kingdom

My life as an English teacher in Korea would be perfect if I wasn't an English teacher.

That sounds wrong, so let's be more specific.

I hate my school? Does that sound fair? No? Too bad. (Great- now I'm talking to myself.) Anyway, things haven't improved in the office. As always, management is completely inept and infuriatingly clueless. As always, my co-workers and I all laugh and leave on breaks to eat together, and slowly grind our teeth away to stumps and watch as our hair turns grey and our foreheads wrinkle.

But really I think that's all part of the experience here.

Would I appreciate just standing through a 45-minute bus ride next to a business man in a slightly rumpled suit who smelled strongly of kimchi and fish market if it wasn't for the fact that my Head Teacher is constantly waiting until AFTER the class bell rings to tell me plans have changed and making me bend over backwards while running to make it look like she can run a functioning teaching staff?

Would I laugh as hard speaking in broken Japanese in a Korean class with my deskmate to fill in the Korean words we didn't know ("tanjoubi?" "saengil"; "tomodatchi?" "chingu") if it wasn't for the fact that no one understands me ever and we might as well all be speaking our own dialect of Japano-Engli-rean because language is funny and language barriers are almost unconquerable?

Would finally finding a music store and running my fangirly hands over every SHINee album they have been so satisfying if I hadn't moved to a rural place completely devoid of the Kpop sub-culture?

No, of course not. Not at all.

My Sabunim (hapkido instructor) is a very wise man. In language class today he told me a famous Korean writer once said, "Korea is an interesting Hell. But Australia is a boring Kingdom." And all things said and done, I like my Hell. I like watching the ridiculousness of drunken ahjusshi trying to walk straight lines home after a Wednesday night of beer, cigarettes, and women who they probably aren't married to. I like being able to do things like plug in a massage chair at Lottemart, take my shoes off, and have a nice nap for 20 minutes because no one will come up to me and tell me not to. I like sharing food with my students. Running across 5-lane highways to catch the last bus home. When my Korean text messaging service talks to me in Obama's voice. Poorly subtitled Western movies. Poorly spelled/translated/written English on things people display proudly on t-shirts, bags, tattoos, etc. I like that when people see me on the street from second story cafes they don't just wave, but sway their whole body like a tree in the breeze to get my attention.

So instead of stressing out I'll push the burning brimstone off of my desk, listen to SHINee, drink a coke (which is apparently called "cock" here- as in "you really like to drink cock." or "cock is your life"), and watch the sparks fly.