Korean Students Say And Do The Darnedest Things

I'm convinced that whoever started that rumor that Asian children are polite, studious, and dedicated either never met an Asian student or was a bold-faced liar.

That isn't to say I don't have GOOD students, because I do. There's just...some taming involved. From what I've observed my Korean co-teachers tame via fear and punishment. This does not work for me for a few reasons:
      1. I can't muster a stern face to save my life.
      2. Half of students are taller than me. (Speaking of rumor-starters- short Asians? Not in my Asia...)

and the biggest reason:

      3. I am FAR too amused by the evil things my students say and do to even think about punishing them. So, in honor of my students' willful spirits and my lack of classroom management skills, here's a collection of some of the more precious moments I've shared with my little angels (many of which concerning a student we'll call SW as he is particularly angelic):

~ I have tattoos, one of which being very visible as it's on my wrist. This isn't a problem, despite what you might hear about the tattoo stereotyping in this part of the world. If anything, my students from ages 6 to 16 are politely curious. That is, except for SW. The first day my tattoo was exposed to SW's class, I knew it had happened because SW jumped out of his seat into some semblance of a martial arts ready-stance and yelled, "You a gangstuh, baby, c'mon man FIGHT!" Some version of this phrase has been his special greeting for me every since. It's been weeks.





~  "Teachuh, what time o'clock it is?"

~ "Hey teacher?"
   "Yes?"
   "Ah, no. No." (Repeated at least 10 times a class. One of my boys LOVES this game. And he always wins.)

~"Teacher, 똥 (Ddong) spelling in English what?"
  "...-sigh- It's poop." (This is almost always followed by asking about "방구" (bangu- fart))

~ Me: -Taking attendance- Oh, where is [student] today?
   Entire class: [student] IS DIE!
   Me: I had to ask.

~ While going over the rules in SW's class, I felt guilty for giving such young kids so many restrictions (I no longer feel bad for this, so don't worry). Trying to lighten up the mood, and knowing a student had farted in class the first day and the kids still laughed about it I added:

   Me: If anyone gas? Whole class detention!
  SW: -Promptly stands up, winks, slaps his ass, and gives me a thumbs up.-

~ Student (age: 16): -Walks into the Teachers' Office- N~~~~ Teacher, you are very pretty.
   Me: 헐? (Hull. Kind of the Korean equivalent to "whatever" or "What'chu say?!")
   Student: I didn't do my homework. You have three options. You can accept. You can let me e-mail you my homework tonight. Third is you can give me detention. But if I'm detention, can't send my homework. Oh! -Hands me a chocolate-
   Me: . . .You could have done your homework in the time it took you to buy this candy and look up how to say what you just said to me on Naver (similar to google).
   Student: Yeah....Yeah, I know.

~Me: Okay, class. The word is "Mother". Who can make a sentence using the word "Mother"? (Note: we repeat these sentences as a class then write them on the board- they're 8-10 years old.)
   SW: TEACHUH, ME!
   Me: ohgod...SW. Tell us about "Mother".
   SW: Tch. My Mother very very lazy!

~And last but not least, something cute. In SW's class is a kid I always call Tiger. He's a polite, shy little 10-year-old and always good to have in class. About two weeks into the semester I get a new student in the class- a boy who chose to go by the English name Ryan. One of my students, SN, raises his hand and dances in his seat, SO excited to tell me something. And when I call on him, he proudly points out to the me:

   "TEACHUH, TEACHUH- Tiger and LION!"

Yeah, I had to sit down for a minute. But good-natured SN laughed with me.

So that's a little taste of what I deal with 8 hours a day.

                           ~N.